Truthful answers to frequently asked questions on the stock market:
How do most people make money with shares? They donít. And what if you think youíre not like most people? Youíre most likely wrong. Why do share prices fluctuate? Share prices keep going up as long as youíre thinking of buying; When you do, they start going down. Once youíve sold, they go up again. Why is the person who does your trades called a broker? To hide the fact that since heís making money every time you trade, youíre probably the one whoís broker. Also, if you had to call him what he calls you, youíd be phoning your Ďsuckerí to make a trade. So, how can I find a good stock? Through meticulous research, analysing data, looking for a company with a sustainable competitive advantage, talking to managementÖ he heÖ oh Iím sorry Ö I donít know whatís so funny Ö ha ha ha. Whatís a bull market? Itís when the market keeps going up and up and investors start to believe it may never go down Ö which is Ďbullí. And a bear market? When most people canít Ďbearí whatís happening to them. Whatís active trading? Itís when you swop a normal life to stare at a computer screen all day while eating and drinking Gaviscon. What are penny-stocks? Letís face it, probably not much. What can you get for a penny these days? Penny candy costs twenty cents, penny arcades charge fifty cents, and Penny down the street charges Ö well, letís just say you donít get much of anything anymore. What is the Standard & Poor? Itís an endearing term Americans use to describe the average investor. What are IPOs? Itís an abbreviation for ĎIdiots Purchasing Overpriced stocksí. Can you do that? If the shoe fitsÖ
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