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Truthful answers Tuesday, March 2, 2021
Truthful answers to frequently asked questions on the stock market:

How do most people make money with shares? They don’t. And what if you think you’re not like most people? You’re most likely wrong. Why do share prices fluctuate? Share prices keep going up as long as you’re thinking of buying; When you do, they start going down. Once you’ve sold, they go up again. Why is the person who does your trades called a broker? To hide the fact that since he’s making money every time you trade, you’re probably the one who’s broker. Also, if you had to call him what he calls you, you’d be phoning your ‘sucker’ to make a trade. So, how can I find a good stock? Through meticulous research, analysing data, looking for a company with a sustainable competitive advantage, talking to management… he he… oh I’m sorry … I don’t know what’s so funny … ha ha ha. What’s a bull market? It’s when the market keeps going up and up and investors start to believe it may never go down … which is ‘bull’. And a bear market? When most people can’t ‘bear’ what’s happening to them. What’s active trading? It’s when you swop a normal life to stare at a computer screen all day while eating and drinking Gaviscon. What are penny-stocks? Let’s face it, probably not much. What can you get for a penny these days? Penny candy costs twenty cents, penny arcades charge fifty cents, and Penny down the street charges … well, let’s just say you don’t get much of anything anymore. What is the Standard & Poor? It’s an endearing term Americans use to describe the average investor. What are IPOs? It’s an abbreviation for ‘Idiots Purchasing Overpriced stocks’. Can you do that? If the shoe fits…
 
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